1.If they say TV's so bad for you then why do they have one in every hospital room?

2.Have you ever noticed that anyone going faster than you is a maniac and anyone going slower than you is an idiot?

3.While I'm away, ponder this: Which came first, the mom or the child? The tree or the seed? The chicken or the egg?

4.If one synchronized swimmer drowns do the rest all have to drown too?

5.You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

6.He who laughs last thinks slowest.

7.The statement below is false.

The statement above is true.

Which statement is correct

8.What's better... a lie that draws a smile or the truth that draws a tear?

9.If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

10.WHEN THE VERY FIRST MAN DISCOVERED THAT COWS HAVE MILK... WHAT DO YOU THINK HE WAS DOING??

11.It's ok to kiss a fool.
It's ok to let a fool kiss you.
But never let a kiss fool you.

12.One night I was looking up at the stars and matching them up with one reason we are friends..... then I ran out of stars.

13.Okay here is a lesson for you peoples::

1. Don't have sex with out a condom.
2. Hot guys don't be gay.
3. Stop forgetting my name...!!
4. Make sure you know your own name or you'll look stupid!!
5. Quit playing with your self!!!!! EWWW
6. LIKE EMINEM!!!!
7. Stop being gay and annoying
8. Fact: If they say they lesbo/gay they are k? Don't argue with them!!
9. Apple jacks don't taste like apples.
10. How old are you dude?!
11. Don't be a hata or even the playa idiots.....
12. Gurls don't make out with each other cause to turn guys on duh?!
13. If you see a lil note book by my name guess what that means??? I AM AWAY IDIOTS!!!!

14.If someone suffered amnesia, and then was cured, would they remember that they forgot?

15.Who should I turn to when the only person that can stop me from crying, is the one who made me cry in the first place? :'(

16.Where in the nursury rhme does it say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

17.If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.